Yuletide with Baby Jesus

We took a deep breath, packed all our hopes, dreams, and idealism in a strong knapsack of needs threw it over our shoulder, and got off across over our Barangay Covered Court to begin actualizing a so called change.

I hate Christmas holiday! It’s not because I can’t afford to compete season with its holiday rush hours purchasing gifts for love ones or for your “manito” and “manita’’. Or perhaps, hate building castles in the air about my mother to be with us just a wink of an eye, fresh from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia working for almost 7 years to celebrate the Christmas Eve. But maybe, just maybe because I can’t deal the fact that our family has never been in a complete state during this time of special gathering- to be complete like Mary, Peter, and Baby Jesus in nativity scene. Therefore, my Christmas has become a lonesome day of the year for the 7 consecutive years now.

Not until one day, it was the 1st day of December, my cousin Lemon who has been so busy lately, completing his nursing cases in his last year in nursing, approached me to plan for a diminutive program in coordination with our Sacred Heart of Jesus Youth Organization in Brgy.Buhangin, Malita, Davao del Sur. I can’t explain what made us to initiate small Christmas activity during this season like what we had last year where we organized a game show format activity that highlighted the children to participate and win “ONE HUNDRED PESO BILL’’ as our highest prize, besides from the sweet cheap candies and chocolates that we bought in our mini-convenience store in neighboring “barrio’”. I guess, the reward of witnessing innocent children wearing their beaming smiles during this season would be the primary reason why a nursing student like my cousin Lemon and an under board in Nursing Licensure Examination like me would opt to conduct activities like this. Secondly, ever since I was born in our place the issue between the separation of the church and the Barangay Council with regards to the activities to be handled by the parties was prominently occurring. Say for example, the Barangay Council must only be responsible to conduct activities that will entertain and maybe beneficial for the folks in our “barrio’’ during the “The Araw ng Barangay”, or the famous founding anniversary of the Barangay. So in the other way around, during fiesta ng Barangay, our day would just end up eating some of the small delicacies served by the people in the place without having any activity that will somehow remind us that this day will be special. The mere reason behind is simple; the ‘’GKK’’ or the Gagmay Katulikong Simbahan(a church’s organization) can’t officiate any events because luck of funds. Thus, to make a change in the eyes of people, we the youth organized a program that does not ordinarily happen in a year during December days, the so called ‘’ 1st Buhangin Sacred Heart of Jesus Youth Convention”.

Our efforts to actualize change in the ‘barrio’’ for the lapses and lack of support from the Council and for those people who were supposed to be responsible for the activity in our Barangay has never been like eating a piece of cake. Instead, we were like modernized beggars in the streets begging for help, handling a “typewritten” solicitation papers to raise funds in the said altruism to bring entertainment and cause for our ”kabaryo”. Because the activity will not only showcase the talents and potentials of the youth thru dance presentations but also we conducted a small raffle draw with a half-sack of rice as our first prize and 2 kilos of rice for consolation prizes. These were of course inspired by our teachers like Sir Rodrigo Melay, way back in our high school days. Our journey towards getting financial resources was never been like a roller coaster, instead it was like an ECG (electrocardiogram) tracing that because of complications of its state a expert medical doctor can’t define the trace, so as last resort, he would just immediate pronounce the word,”TIME OF DEATH 6:00PM OF DECEMBER 23” without having a resuscitative effort that can rarely be seen in a government hospitals. Yet, even for the adversity I found out myself getting into the desperate action of meeting my registered nurse friends like Ivy from Tulunan, Cotabato as she invited me for a free lunch at KFC at SM Davao at grabbed the chance of elaborating solicitation intention. I was a bit shy when she uttered, ”HAY, NAKU JOSEPH AKO PA SAYO PUNTA KA DUN SA FOODCOURT TAS TUMABI KA SA MGA KUMAKAIN AT YON NA HANDLE THEM YOUR SOLICITATION PAPER”. She said it half baked insult maybe, but I didn’t mind her statement. Instead, I put a wry smile in my face and managed to compose myself and my super ego. As I received a 100 peso bill from her, I managed to fast-paced into the sweetshop section of the said store and reminded my girlfriend Rona, who happened to be an SM employee, to collect the solicitation papers I gave to her work mates a week ago because I badly needed it. So later on, I got off from Davao City and still made my ways and means to provide financial support from any other kind-hearted individuals besides from the text brigades I had to solicit any support from my friends, teachers, and even enemies. I was so desperate to gather financial assistance even getting on inserting my program with my friends during our island escapade in the Island Garden City of Samal, where I almost lost my opportunity to celebrate this year’s Christmas eve, because our “pump boat’’ where we were in almost capsized in the floor of the Davao Gulf as we headed back into Sasa Warf to return home due to untoward weather changes. Then, as I set my foot in the wharf I barely shouted;” Thanks God I am alive!”

It was a day prior to the event scheduled last December 23 when I received the highest solicited amount from a single person worth 400 peso bill. I was so glad to receive such amount plus her friend who happened to be a teacher also donated her 100 peso bill which amounted my money into 750 pesos. I contacted my cousin and the youth president in church based organization, Remar to add up the total amount of monetary collections. I felt a sense of guilt because I persuaded to be part of the program without getting into the point of thinking the consequences and even the hardship during the preparations of the program. I was so hopeless and even getting into the last resort of blaming the Barangay officials in our barrio of not allowing their pockets to open for any financial help, where I eventually expected during their monthly session because our youth president has been invited to be part of the meeting. But guess what? What one thing I received? Disappointment!!! Then, I managed to speak up as youth towards my co-participants in the event during our routine rehearsal that ended us daily 2:00am to fell asleep that;”Procrastination in any cases, involving any people has never been a positive option applied in our daily living which had happened to me, where I failed to prepare my papers for the board exams in Nursing last November 2008; ended up logging behind by my friends who are now Registered Nurses.” Yet for undefined motive in politics, for some; procrastinations has been the best excuse in renovating bridges, roads, and buildings just to be voted in during the elections that causes us commuters 2 hours delays or even more in our trip. Instead of doing the project early in a year, during election campaign has been the best time to do it. How sad to think about it, that still we are on the same political ways and with undying traditional politicians-TRAPO in short for some!

A day after, I was so surprised to meet the first streaks of the light breaking the horizon with the great rising sun in authority to bathe the vicinity during the day of our scheduled event, which I usually don’t appreciate because of waking up so early in the morning and felling out my bed early 2 am for a dance practice, almost everyday. I got off across, the”bomba”, or the deep well for us Cebuano, where we used to bath. I woke up at 7am because of an early appointment in the bank. Then rested for a while to ease the back pain and entire body aches I received from the sleepless nights I had; and for sure no nursing remedy can’t relieve it; except for a shot of morphine, perhaps. I was so exhausted; almost I fell in the towering buildings’ entrance due to fatigue and hunger because of deprivation of sleep and food consumption. Plus the draining scorching heat of the sun. I was in the midst of the street when I realized how hard for few persons who have been so kind to officiate and conduct programs like what we had. It was a bout a battle between letting yourself going with the flow of nowhere from some missed managing of the Barangay Officials of not actively organizing activities where all you can do sometimes is to become numb and dumb if you don’t want to be criticized by those inconsiderate people,even if your intention is good and selfless. Or still go for worth-doing activities even if critiques are getting crazy in you, throwing illogical kind of reasoning.

The activity only lasted for 4 hours of joy and merry making by the youngster’s showcasing of talents. We giggled…We chuckled for some happy moments during the events that can be compared to life. I saw the young faces festively performing their dance steps in front of the audience. I was then fulfilled…I saw mothers thrilled faces as I drew out the tickets from the improvised”roleta” during our raffle draw. I have heard cheers from the youth with the breathtaking stunts of the hip hop participants. I have received plenty heart warming statements from our judges which where candidates of their doctorate degrees in their own fields. I saw audience yelling from astonishment because of our simple dance interpretation number of a BISAYAN song entitled,’’GUAMANG GIATAY”. I almost saw all kinds of faces! The event was great! Then, one thing I pondered from the experience was; no matter how prepared or perfect an organized activity was, there are still antagonists in the show that will throw biased feedbacks. Charlatans are anywhere ready to put mud in your names. Yet we stood firm from our idealism to make a change in our own way from the traditional lax and inactive participation of the people in our Barangay.

My experience this year’s Christmas celebration would be compared to the essence one’s life and its journey. Life is like a stage where everyone has its own role to play. Everybody has tasks to portray their own role as actress and actor in the community. It is us who will substantiate our characters to fulfill the call for playing the game of existence. We will weep into ocean of tears. We will merely feel the pounding of our hearts so speedy as though it was going to leap from our chest when exhilarating moments suddenly drew closer to our encounter with time. Yet as we bumped into the circumstance, this is not akin to the traditional set up of a movie making, wherein there are scripts to direct for perfect initiation of ones role. No more directors that would perfect artist facial expressions, actions, and a whole lot more about her/his character. No more cuts! No more chance to scribble formatted lines from a draft. For it is definitely a chance of do or die pattern for change.

It has been all about the spirit of altruism and change. So, for sure next year my Christmas break will not be the same with the monotonous, unproductive holidays I had. It could wear out my energy and physique. But it would be more exciting, tasking, and life-changing Christmas holiday in its own simple way.

Copar in review

The Final Curtain Call

Life is like a stage where everyone has its own role to play. Everybody is tasked to portray their own role as actress and actor. It is us who will substantiate our characters to fulfill the call for playing the game of existence. We will weep into ocean of tears. We will giggle for some unanticipated happy circumstances. We will merely feel the pounding of our hearts so speedy as though it was going to leap from our chest when exhilarating moments suddenly draw closer to our encounter with time. Yet as we bump into the circumstance, this is not akin to the traditional set up of a movie making, wherein there are scripts to direct for perfect initiation of ones role.

No more directors that would perfect artist facial expressions, actions, and a whole lot more about her/his character. No more cuts! No more chance to scribble formatted lines from a draft. For it is definitely a chance of do or die pattern. Like any other career noted in our society these days specifically the ballooning populace of nursing students we are entitled to portray our own one of a kind role according to our potentials. One of the bulky chapters in nursing life that a need to struggle is the drama of Community Organizing Participatory Action Research- COPAR, if put into summary, it was really a salad of adventure. It was a real life drama at its best. There was comedy- the rolling in the floor laughing then shifted to a suspense thriller where our faces turned to ghostly white, plus the freezing sweats exerted from panic and fright. The numberless scenarios were for real. We chuckled… We contested our wits to escape from the lost of nowhere. We blamed ourselves and members for the unfavorable circumstance heading us to create a mess with our bonds. We cried out to alleviate our lessening fiscal status for we were once worrying our parents. All

these things were put our all in one experience in COPAR exposure. It was BARANGAY LANGUB or NO ONE!

So as you surf this exemplary incident- scribbling every pages of this one of a kind experience, please fasten your seatbelt. Hold your breath. Bring out your bulky sheets of KLEENEX to wipe out your tears for a sordid “history and herstory” of the group members. And ready yourselves to be somehow part of the roller coaster circumstance- its ups and downs and its twist and turns. Be with our ride!

Say hi and hello

Circle was over. Paraphernalia were out. Attendance was already checked. Members flocked in the lobby with zest and altruism to penetrate the area. We loitered in our yellow-colored rented multi-cab. We waited for a go signal and will be heading a short while to Brgy. Langub. We took a deep breath, packed all our hopes, dreams, and idealism in a strong knapsack of needs, threw it over our shoulder, and got off across the adopted community to begin saving people in our own little way of expertise in Community Organizing Participatory Action Research.

It was a long day for Group 57! We dropped by in Puan for a courtesy call as a protocol prior to the formal entry to the site. Next in line was the brief caucus of barangay officials, health care workers, and the rest of the members of the governing body in the community. We took pleasure on the ride boarded from the yellow-colored multi-cab. Every eye were stayed glued with pleasure in the picturesque of the natural wonders, turning every lines of vision into perfect green, luxuriating in the road’s charm. The group were enthralled, totally captivated by the beauty of the first streaks of the light breaking off the horizon with “GREAT RISING SUN” in authority to bathe brightness the vicinity. The roadside with its scenic presentation was amazingly different – so overwhelming. It beckoned to everyone as therapeutic place, a momentary escape from stressful day. The freezing morning breeze which permeated with the raw and refreshing scent of early morning dew was relaxing to our sense. It made us face the day with zest and optimism. The extraordinary scenarios were perfectly ironic to the presentation of physical set- up of the place, to consider the fiscal status quo of the majority of the inhabitants of Purok 6 and 7. People were the typical sample of the obvious poverty that we are struggling from how many decades had started until this juncture. As we went along the area, we appealed to the masses therapeutic relationships. While on the other hand, the clinical instructors submitted their presence for a caucus for a preparation for the next 4 weeks’ activities and the like. Students flocked, brought out their cameras and took a perfect pose like a freelance model, ready to for a billboard pictorial. Or just hallucinating as cover boys/girls of FHM or Maxim as highest paid models in the country in the era. Indeed, they were stars in their own unique ways. The venue was perfectly suited for a certain commercial pictorials. A closer look to the bounty of scenery, it was simply promising.

It took so long for our clinical instructors completed the equal division of the scope and responsibility as well as the labor to agree on as challenge as to base its jurisdiction accordance to the designated puroks. Our CI intoned that Group 57 and 58 will merge, handling the Purok 6 and 7 as to initiate the roles of the pre- entry phase of COPAR. Then, “Mamang Driver” maneuvered the mechanical thing heading to our puroks. The close encounters of an out of the ordinary breathtaking scenes were indeed remarkable. The tour towards the cliff with towering trees alleying the concrete road as a reminiscence of my beloved province where I used to spent my naïve days as babe in the wood. So with that we have conducted an initial social investigation out from the scratch for the community immersion. The day closed with the biding goodbye to the area as we headed back into our school

THE ESCAPEES

We giggled. We laughed. We took a deep breath and happened to be threatened as our faces turned to ghostly white. No more joke. No more chance to be dressed in with our beaming smiles. No more jollity as our group mates hurled their punch lines. The drama was for real! Eight students crafted a new-fangled version of mislaid students in a jungle who had experience a life and death circumstance.

The promising day summoned for a new untold story to add up in the compilation of COPAR BULKY OF STORIES. As always the habitual circle welcomed the calendar day right and be the first thing to transpire at exactly 7:30 AM. We boarded on a yellow multi- cab with our rented driver who happened to be depicted with enthusiasm to maneuver the vehicle to the area. The atmosphere inside that fast moving automobile was

filled with positively-charged spirits. The early chatters were busy on various topics to spice up the first hour of the day with lightness. The group indeed encouraged everyone to put a happy facial expression and optimistic temperament. The punch lines were readily available to launch a blitzkrieg attack to our group mates to steer up humor and laughter from our potential stand up comedians. As the group’s pace was getting into the precise place, the exemplary serenity and beyond belief backdrop of nature welcomed us plus the zephyr that refreshes our outlook in life. The towering trees perfected the place as momentary escape from the city’s eye sore.

At the barangay hall the COPAR people congregated for a consolidation of the basic data to draw together as to reflect with our questionnaire. That was for the sake of uniformity with regards to our queries to the people in Purok 7 and 6. After which the group packed for a long period of hike to start the initial social investigation. We paced over the slippery cliff and some muddy section of the slope. Then took continuous pace towards the numberless ups and downs of the hilltops under the scorching streaks of an offensive sun just to carry out our interview. Our consciousnesses were dominated by the excitement as though we were like a child wide open mouth amazed with the new presentation of nature to us. But for less than an hour the group’s adrenalin level has been pinned down by the monotonous trail we’ve been tracking. The air was getting so thin that our lungs could hardly function physiologically. We were soaked with our own sweat and continuously lathered all over our body. After an interview with different faces of life in the community, we had to go back to Brgy. Langub proper as a meeting place. The group chose to map out the short cut path wherein we could possibly arrive the area as early as possible. The 57 people loved adventure much. I was also one of the few members who will be getting so resistant with their island hopping and deprived myself for a Christmas party last December. As usual, I was tagged to be the one of the “KJ” in he class. But after that one good chance to bump into a real drama, we have intoned to have no more will to wish an escapade in the future. We were gone astray. As if we were babes in the wood- so frail and naïve. We’ve tried to trace the one man to pass the trail. Upon following that option thrice of our attempts, we failed to take a final exit of the area. Our walk was getting longer. Our chance to run off the place was doomed. We were like victims in movie-like scenario as to be served as lunch by the hungry monster readily available for their kingly crispy bites with our flesh and liters fresh blood- to suck it perfectly. Blame us not to experience paranoia. We have tried to tranquil ourselves out of the tension that had been motivated by the circumstance. We’ve attempted to control the panic within us as we went back and forth at the same place. But still we managed a weak smile. The place was getting so weird as it can be considered as dead end environ by fertile mountains and gigantic trees, and various wild plants. I was even feared by the presence of a huge skinny reptile that rushed its way towards the bushes to hide. The place was getting so strange and I can now hear my heart pounding so fast as though I’ve been suspending into death shortly. I happened to be pre- occupied by extreme fright as additional to my group mates whose composure were pretty bad. What if I can no longer escape this nightmare? What if I will lose the chance to get out of this place? Out of that long walk we in tended to gamble with the last resort to head back into the area where we were safe and sound. Finally, one Good Samaritan accompanied us a hike towards our landmark that would indicate for our escape. We paced so fast without minding the more offensive streaks of the sun. Then, here we are alive and kicking fresh from the creepy situation. We were able to feel the warm and caressing wind after all.

FOOTPRINTS OF MEMORIES: LANGUB IN REVIEW

The place is like a work of art- beautiful and cold. A very brief description of the place has been depicted by this line. Ever since, the place has been astounding to us. The simplicity of the area made an appreciation for everyone. Yet in the other way around it signifies a turning point for a new leap of change because the community has its potential for getting better by maximizing the resources. They must believe that there is magic but you have to be a magician, you have to make the magic happen.

As we went through the 5 weeks of COPAR exposure, we were like a naïve children that have been amused by sets of toy presented to us. From the green backdrop of the entire community as a spot where nature has been still protected against the harm of the human acts to the more detailed description of the real spectacular creation of almighty as a better place to live in. The sweet calls of the streaming water of the brook. The melodies of the chirping birds and the sound of the colliding branches and twigs of bamboo trees are music to the nature lovers’ ears. The untouched bodies of water environed by the green meadows and the presence of wild plants and exotic animals constantly dwelling the nature’s reward from the advocacy to save wildlife and save lives campaign are of essence to continually preserve. The plain background of nature is

an irony to the recent leisure that the natural wonders brought to the spectators and adventurous goers. As the nature brought different choices to escape stressful, dreadful, and tedious routine by the busy people in different walks of life like the Lake Laud and Outland Adventure caters to the ballooning numbers of people who were hooked to visit the extreme experience it offer. The presence of animals: domesticated or astray who reaped the nature’s prize attested the rewards system pattern that we will be gaining if our advocacy is for environmental concern.

The day was getting over as I wrote this piece of flashback within our 5 weeks community exposure– the COPAR in review. Indeed, our real life drama as amazingly standing tall COPAR student nurse was a box office hit. The experience maybe overly dramatic but this is the life that we are living.

-IVO -

per se II

I look so frail when someone put a mess within me. but still i manage to eradicate the complication of possesing a low self esteem...i just hold my temper...pause for a while...and create a c reative feeling just divert the feeling of total torture towards the core of my being just a momentary escape from discrimination...i was then coping up the sense of carelessness of sombody who become so absurd and silly towards me. somebody coming from the list of my friends uttered sometime that i'm a highly emotional child' maybe he's right though but considering the fact that i still have the tendency to be weakened ad hurt his conviction has been a questionable fact. they were becoming rude to me since then and came up with some of that actions that a supposed to be considered friend whom i beleived can't do it but still did it not for once for several time..but then i still ignored...i just firmly beleived in the advent of humility and self-respect not to put some mess out of them just to become the bad person in one way or another...u may beleived that i emotionally unstable but try to ponder out from your ruthless deeds to me whom you denied..you know who you are...i hope you have been become sensitive...

ORVI: HE SAYS

A LETTER TO RONA

December 27,2007 / 2:00am

Dear honey,

When all I could feel before was excruciating pain, I can’t merely see the bright side of my existence- that my life had lost all semblance of meaning. Here you came out of nowhere! And as my least choice to dwell I used you as my momentary escape from all devastation and manipulation of my pumping organ. I treated you as someone who would bring out an extraordinary joy in my life. To save me from dreary, welling up into ocean of tears and you did not disappoint me. I happened to unveil my story to you then when it was your turn, you were looking out at the uncaring trees telling your sordid “herstory” to the first man you had ever loved. And as I gazed into your melancholic eyes I was circled by your shoulders then fell in love with you. You called me to listen to you but to lend my ears for you was not enough, instead I did the therapeutic way to totally ebb the injury. I may not have the theoretical know-how to detail the pathophysiology of badly breaking our hearts from the dreaded past in the hands of our cheater partners heading to the regimen we’ve been through, but one thing is certain, we both deserved untagged ourselves as “hopeless romantics”. Later on, we came out to realization that LOVE IS NEVER CONSTANT- AND THAT HEARTS ARE OFTENTIMES MORE BROKEN THAN COMPLETE. So, we chose to collect the fragments of our broken hearts, paired it into a perfect one whole. We promised that our relationship was for keeps.

Ron, have you still remember about your say after I have helped you with your computer research that noted this way, “VO SWERTE KAAYO C CINDY NIMU BAH! BRYT NAKA BUOTAN PA. NAA NA JUD SA IMU TANAN”. I was hopeful that my girlfriend would value my presence that way or even just close to your perception. But I was a failure because she still habitually took me for granted and tagged me as “OA” after I revealed my weakness. Thus after successive bouts and petty quarrels I ended up our relationship. I was somehow a fallen angel that time. I wrecked the castles that I have built in the air out of the rawness of my emotions for that juncture. To start new, I adhered to your pact that even we’ve started from scratch; we will achieve an ideal relationship. I am your prince and you are my princess in our fairy tail-like love story living happily ever after, together. It may sound corny but that was for real. Ron, it was you who saved me from torment and blue. You put aside the sword of Damocles over my head. It was definitely you who cheered me wear my beaming smile. It was you who taught me that change was never too late. It was really you a constant source for my comfort. It was you who drove me away from the oblivious world that I was used to be part of, before. Ron, you are so incomparable! Your efforts were beyond compared. Honestly, your sacrifices are unparalleled by my sleepless nights thinking of you so long. My works for you were not that sufficient to equate with your endeavor. Not even for my diminutive surprise for you during our first monthsary celebration in my filthy boarding house where I used to light candles around the vicinity and exploited Lemon’s “malita” as an improvised table, then, clothed it with my OR-DR gown. Next in line was to set a grapefruit juice out of the borrowed wine glass from Paulo’s mom which he lifted out of her mom’s cabinet without consent. . Beside on it were Then the last flower contained an Italian 3 pieces of cheap red roses brought in Bankerohan.silver necklace purchased at Lachmi. Everything was reallycheap! ! An irony to my sincere intention to you. You hugged me so tight with teary eyes noted, then, kissed me so tender. That was extraordinary like your coming into my life.

I want to say I love you not because you made the most delicious “adobong manok” and concluded that you were the best cook during the first monthsary of Pau2 and Mimie. I love you not because you still hold on and battle for our relationship even after your father had slapped your face so hard and hanged you so frail and helpless against his big arms for not informing them that we had a dinner date in DC. I love you not because you were so sturdy when everybody cursed us because it happened that YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND WAS MY BESTFRIEND AND MY FORMER GIRLFRIEND WAS ALSO YOUR BESTFRIEND. Worse than that was the speculation that we cheated them, and then dubbed us scapegoats. But the very reason that I love you was for teaching me how to fly when my wings were badly broken and helped me came up to realize that although life and love are besieged by constant torture, we can still compose and complete ourselves in through our own ways, because life as with everything else, goes on. So we started a new love story.

Your guardian angel,

ORVI

final curtain call:goodbye is never

Seperation is never an easy circumstance in life.It is somehow a point to atest that life is no more joke when every circles of the year that would be added up to your age and the problems and challenges seems more complex than the latter. It takes alot of emotional maturity and more precise and concise p
ercepton and porper application of onced experienced experiences before to the most important thing to deal which is change. They say this is just the only constant in this world, so we must live by this priciple. At first i thought life would be miserrable if i will no longer see her and be part of her. After the fairytale-like-to-be- lovestory we had whch lasted for more 4 years acceptance to bid goodbye is a hard as chaging my reasons to exist. I was like a lifeles
s art-beautiful yet unpurposive. It took a lot of denia
l and perseverance to fix it out and try to make things better to work out per se. Yet, the main point was that heart when broken into pieces not just once but for more than it could possibly be, it was compared to a frail and fragile broken glass if inteded to shape it back nto its earlier form still the broken pieces still a prominent parcel of that whole. So, better rop out feeling when all you could feel is just merely excruciating pain and immesurable worries that bothers you a lot. So, I opted to delayed the sovereignty of emotion and insisted the will to change the ca

sual impotency to be right and justified with my feeings and decisions in life. Thus, I came up as hopelessly romantic and then somebody put me back to the reasons that i need to love and beloved in return with ocen of ters that will be welling up from my eyes. It was reaaly a sort of reality checking that once inmy life I loved someone whom all of those humanly possible acts to offer a care and concern through deeds without anything in return just to feel her like a princess and be last a servant. I ended up a relationship and tried to collect my self and composure for a change and better life nd love. Here she came as stranger then become somebody that made me free from inevitably feeling the hatred after love. Thanks to RONA for I was then became a precious gift from God..

talk to me not...

byebye...shosholet...

CINDY-IVO....

Parting ways has never been new to me...It may be somehow expected or just a wink of an eye an unfavorable event puff up and then tremendously ruins the whole thing...People are on the process of change and bound to be a dynamic specie- they have to touch your lives for once or even twice then will go away with out any trace. Such thing is just one of the typical example of being at the worst scenario that one has be prepared with and must confronted along his journey. There is no such thing as consistency in a relationship; for now you are seen with beaming faces spending your very juncture like a naïve child together with someone who means a lot for you. Yet unpredictably you are alone cuddling your pillows weeping into ocean of tears badly pained due to the separation process that transpired. For once, you are with your very pact to share the rest of your existence on earth, to live life in love all the time. Separation is inevitable…You tend to be threatened by the fact that that tendency is at your way to hinder what has been ideal with you as planned by the other half of your life. Then, at the end you will end up with torn heart and tremendously feeling the real scenario of being left and betrayed by the one whom you trusted a lot before. Moreover, you will suffer the guilt feeling of the separation that somehow it was your liability. It was you who made her decide to take an exit of your life. Well, that is a traditional emotion to those who have been so martyr and sincere to there feelings towards their partners yet were just taken for granted and then wasted…That is just a sad reality of parting into a commitment-once you are committed to the relationship you are damned and considered to be a garbage. Now, all I know after a long time to think it over is that just BE AN EVIL: PLAY THE GAME TOUGH AND LEAVE ALL OF THEM LATHERING FROM THEIR OWN BLOOD OF SUFFERINGS…