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CHARITY WORKS....

WE ARE UP FOR YULETIDE FEEDING PROGRAM WITH MY FRIENDS...
Looking for some support group...
Please help...

Beneficiaries: BUHANGIN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL...(Buhangin, Malita, Dvao del Sur)

per se

CATERPILLAR NOTES
josef ivo aginaldo,rn

Nakatulala sa nangingirot na hangin...
Hanap ang pag-asang mahagilap ang nawalang tanawin...
Sa mundong niyurakan, ikaw ay magiging muling akin...
Lasap ang hapdi ng maling binhing tinanim...

Hinugot ko and ala-ala sa natitigang kong puso...
Pinitas ang bunga ng pagkukunwari at pagnunukso...
Mga mapait na katas tinikman at isinubo...
Sa diwa kong uhaw imahe niya'ng naglalaro...

Sa dinuraan ko ng mga talulot ng rosas...
Na minsan kong niyapos ang mga tinik na kay talas...
Sa pighating sa mukhay umalpas...
Nalalantang kahapon di na maipagpabukas...

HOMELESS ROMEO

A TRIBUTE TO MIVO...
JOSEPH IVO A. AGUINALDO, RN



CATERPILLAR NOTES
-highly emotional child-



I have tried to become the best Romeo in my own simple ways; to imprint with my former Juliet, best buddies, and all other individuals who environ and affect me in the real stage of life. As gentleman, all this time, I am dying to please aforementioned in playing my masterpiece - with salad of adventure. Yet I turned out almost empty-handed except for the few true people, pushing me so hard to battle the rage of time.



I am but a typical one-woman-man. I did some of the sweetest acts to simply put beam with my girlfriend’s face-Rona. We dined together, island hopped, or went shopping mall as chaperone like any other loyal lover. Or we went out dinner date for anniversary celebration with bouquet of red roses and chocolates. Everything was ordinary. Even our 2-year-old relationship that once I thought it was. Not until the day, our tragic ending with my much-loved Juliet surprised me.



I felt so small to realize that my girlfriend gave her fidelity to a fake Romeo over me. I even became microscopic contemplating my life was too much risked on peril because of he manipulative behavior.



Suffice to say, I made the hardest decision in my whole life- to embrace change, as life is unpredictable. So, I faced the changes that it brought to me, took risks and chances, wept into ocean of tears, reaped a definite bleeding heart, and transformed into a better form of me. Eventually concluded, that the thought of constant happy ending in fairytale- to live happily, ever after, transpired so seldom in real world.



So I wore shades, for the future is bright! A very good friend’s advise.



Before, I was like an emotional thermometer that kept on going up and down. My friend Mart in college tagged me this “highly emotional child” due to my hypersensitivity, then, used it as my pen name in my online blogging. Who could blame me for that possession where, in fact, I belonged to a dysfunctional family. So, I so much hate to gain rejection from all the people around me, second in line to partings. Who would like it, anyway? But I did not become less of a man because of becoming so vocal with my emotions. Though, I was misunderstood most of the time. But for the record, I was better off every pouring of my hundred-weighted feelings.



Frankly speaking, I hate good byes. It was maybe, just maybe because I encountered a not-so-good-parting that changed me as a person. Ever since, I hate the merry-making season not for the reason of keeping away to compete with the holiday’s rush hours in purchasing presents in my Christmas list. But at the end of the day, no more family affair to be seen or any spirit of festive union of family members at “Noche Buena” for almost seven years, then. So as momentary escape, I built castles in the air that my Mama Ingkay in Saudi Arabia who cared for a prince’s son joined us every Yuletide.



I felt deprived by the basic ad important piece of my existence; to own if not a perfect family, but a complete, happy one. As add on to my pain, our father of my other two younger siblings; Jay and John, chose to be partially lax in demonstrating his responsibility as a breadwinner of our family. For that, I hate to exist and be one of the many unnoticed part of the society.



Not until the day, when she made a flamboyant entrance to my life. She maneuvered a glitzy start of an inspiring chapter of untold story. She was the Juliet of my life in a perfect kind. While I was the weak Romeo on stage, I loved the feeling of stressful days while somebody decided to ease me up from a physique-and-mental-wearing-nursing career. It was due to hard-to-meet-deadlines to comply my clinical duty in the last year in my nursing course. Then I expressed, “An epitome of care also needs a care!”



Finally, my worth as person elevated into a greater height. There was a feeling of extreme joy and distinct romance in the air. Even at her 17 when I first called her as “ney”, a shortened form of honey. She demonstrated a lot more than of her moderation at her age. I coined a simple thought; that age is not primarily a parameter of maturity, for it is but just a number. And looking back in a memory lane of our past shared romance, it was so perfect! Yet, in my reality checked, I found out that there is no such thing as perfect chronicle. Some closes as early as possible. Others may not, but eventually it would still break your heart, re-memorizing the pain. Even though, you did the very best to portray your actor role as Romeo, if in case, your Juliet played a half-baked performance, you will both deserve “boos” from the audience because it was a duo act. As cliché once said; “It takes two to tango.” Even if you risked so much, like to skip my review classes as preparation for my Nurse’s Licensure Examination because it was her day off from work. Or worse than that, I failed to enroll my review class since the intended penny was just enough to our food and other expenditures good for a month. As a result, I failed my exams. I disappointed my parent’s pride to have licensed nurse’s son and crumpled my self-esteem like a piece of wasted paper.



Speaking of change, if there is something to undo my failures and broken heart; I would say “no” like a toddler in tantrums. Why would I will not let the failures and heart breaks happened, when in fact, it lead me to where I am right now. The experienced made me cried braver and real tears of becoming a man in metamorphosis. It was all learning experienced.



My dependent personality towards my girlfriend negatively affected me, her, and all people. I concluded that too much of being saint is not helpful; sometimes if you want others to pay respect to you, it is a must to demonstrate the sinner side you have. She broke our pact as you-are-all-mine-and-mine-alone-until-our-hairs-turn-to-gray-idea of love. I did everything to win her back and our relationship, nurtured it well, but then, I was a failure.



Today, my Juliet did not die with me in tragic ending. I died myself in my frustration to nurse our love story for the rest of our lives. Our love story died in tragic death. Then, I buried six feet under the ground as my choice. But I don’t have to die with it as mental note. I became a braver Romeo now. I managed to put the initials registered nurse in my name. Though, I cried and mourned f or what was lost with me. But, acceptance followed that things, circumstance, and people now can’t be the same as before. And if we can’t change the situation, we are obliged to change ourselves to be better off. Then, appreciate the worth as a person we are.



I was abandoned by my Juliet in the midst of our real play. Some audience emptied the theater where I performed the Romeo role intended for me. Fewer stayed and cheered me up to pursue the quest and to be wiser this time around.



I now bid good bye temporarily to my Juliet. I maybe an imperfect Romeo but I did my all just make her happy and valuable. But before I take a final curtain call to her life, I wanted to tell her that I loved her so much and she was one of the greatest things that ever happened in my life. I forgave her for her pitfalls and I prayed for the best of her life with sincerity. Next time around, I will be a better Romeo than before to my perfect dreamed NEW Juliet, with head keeping high. I will be patiently waiting for her comeback. And our love story will be a sure box-office hit.

AUTO ELECTION

BY: JOSEPH IVO A. AGUINALDO, RN


Sa mga hintuturong minarkahan ng itim na pluma,
Sa mga na"shade" naming mga hugis itlog na mahalaga,
Sa "CONGRATULATIONS" na hinintay ko talaga,
Sa "PICOS" na tila "xerox machine" lang sa pipol na madla.

Malinis na ang tradisyonal na halalan,
'Sing puti ng budhi ng botanteng di ibenenta ang karapatan,
Sa biente o kulay ubeng pera man,
O sa isang supot ng bigas at sardinas na pang-isang kainan.

Sa kinabukasang mahalaga sa iilan,
Sa mga pumatrol upang boto'y bantayan,
"KUDOS!",ko lamang mailalaan,
Saludo sa inyo si Inang Bayan.

Sa mga pulitikong nandaya at nagpakabuwaya,
Binuhay pa kaya kayo ng inyong konsensiya?
Hiling ko'y natalo at humiga sa natirang barya,
O di kaya'y sa susunod ayaw ng kumarera.

Sa mga nanalo ng pagbabago,
Sa mga bagong halal ng mga tao,
Sana'y kapangyarihan gamitin para sa tao,
At pairalin ang Diyos, makatao, at puso nyo.

my commencement speech as keynote speaker in my alma mater..

Distinguished guest of the presidential table spearheaded by EMERLINDA M. ORIDA, principal 1 of Fishing Village Elementary School. To Mr. Francisco P. Diaz, Jr., head teacher 1, my superb mentors in this institution, inspired graduates in their academic dress, proud parents…Mga silingan sa Buhangin! A pleasant afternoon to you all…
My appearance for today has never been easy to me. When my aunt Welgie who happened to be a teacher here and one of my best mentors before, opened the possibility that I can be one on the list to speak up in front of these young minds took me so long weighing the two sides of the coin. Am I capable to verbalize things this momentous date, to maybe, just maybe motivate the graduates in acquiring a greater height in education because of the mere fact that I am one of the lucky 37,527 nursing graduates in the recently concluded NURSES LICENSURE EXAM out of the 94,462 trying hard to outsmart each other? Would that be enough to be picked as guest speaker? What are the things, experiences, and adversity that I will serve to these youngsters as my main course besides from the side dishes and appetizer as food for their thoughts? Or shall I include my latest heartbreak with my girlfriend and our more 2 years old relationship and the idea of you-are-all-mine-and-mine-alone-until-our-hairs-turn-to-gray-idea of love. Because I considered her as my immediate family due to the fact that my mother is miles away from me working as OFW and our family is considered as “DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY”? Then, look stupid in front of you all! But I tell you nobody is stupid because of his experience-every stupid story has its moral lesson to highlight. And mine is one of them! So I came here humble yet armored with my exceptional experienced that I had before and the days to come, to emphasize the magic of being tagged as professional and the good things about education.
“Dalawang dekada ka lang mag aral. Kung di mo pagtitiyagaan limang dekada ng kahipan ang kapalit. Sobrang lugi.Kung alam lang yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko eh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa skwela”. Yan ang sabi ng kaibigan kong si Bob Ong. Di talaga kami magkaibigan siya ang isa sa pinakapaboritong manunulat ko.Di na kailangang manaliksik upang maikumpirma ang mga numero kung ilang milyong Pilipino ngayon ang walang trabaho; propesyonal man o hind nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral. Subalit, kung ikaw ay nakatapos ng kurso sa kolehiyo, ikaw ay may mas karapatang tumanggap ng malaki-laking karampatang sahod at mamuhay na angat sa iba. Isang napakalungkot na katotohanan na buhay na eksina ng ating lipunan sa modernong panahon. Kaya ang ating simpleng solusyon lamang mag-aral…mag-aral…at mag- aral ng maigi…Ang pag- aaral ay isang sakripisyo hindi lamang sa nag-aaral na estudyanteng kinakitaan ng pag-asa ng magulang datapwa’t sa magulang rin na kung minsan buwis buhay ang ginagawa sa totoong entablado ng buhay maibigay lamang ang pangangailangan ng mahal na anak. Ito man ay nagsunog ng kilay upang maitawid ang buhay tungo sa napakagandang pangarap o naging pasaway na estudyante: bulakbol, nagpakalasing sa pag- ibig ng syota at naglakwatsa. Kaya it’s a two way process-a collaboration between parents and child and their determination to acquire the greater heights of education. Kung walang pagpupursigi rin ang magulang ang anak ay wala ring maaabot sa buhay. Tingnan natin ang isa sa pinakakonkretong halimbawa sa determinasyon sa gitna ng hirap. Si Judy Lardizabal ay isang baristang nangarap maging isang abogado nag aral at nagtrabaho ng sabay. Iginapang ng mga magulang sa pagtitinda lamang ng gulay sa palengke at pagtatricycle ang trabaho ng tatay nya. Sa kalaunan hinirang na abogado at naging numero uno sa 2008 bar exam. So, sa punto karon, akoa giimbitahan ang mga ginikanan niining mga nigradwar nga mutindog ug mupataas sa ilahang mga kamot ug mupasalig sa pagpaeskwela sa ilahang anak. ”AKO NAGAPANUMPA NGA ISIP USA KA GINIKANAN AKO MUHATAG UG MAAYONG KAUGMAON SA AKOANG ANAK SA PAGPAEDUKAR NILA DILI LAMANG SA HIGH SCHOOL KUNG DILI HANTOD SILA MAHUMAN UG SKWELA SA KOLIHIYO O UNSA MANG BOKASYON ILAHANG GUSTO”…Daghang salamat sa atoang mga ginikanan…IMPOSSIBLE!!!Maybe that would be the exact word in your mind right now as mental note! Yet, I tell you now that “I BELIEVE THAT THERE IS MAGIC, YOU HAVE TO BE A MAGICIAN; YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE MAGIC HAPPEN! Failures are disturbing your journey towards the sweet taste of success yet that would only be the spices- seasonings of life towards achieving dreams. Remember, Thomas Edison had thousands of failures before he got the light bulb right. Benjamin Franklin- the fool on the roof flying the kite in a rainstorm, retired as one of the first millionaires. And the person in front of you is a living testimony. I tumbled down in my greatest quest in education for countless times then, but I stood up so tall and faced the world with confidence. I have rested for a while because of the seatbacks that had transpired yet the journey continues…Since I was a naïve child I loved going to school maybe because I want to learn things that will not be acquired at home. Even if I considered my “MAMA INGKAY” as my first teacher because she was the first person who taught me how to read the ABAKADA thing prior to my formal entrance to a grade school, there are concepts that shared by our teachers that our mothers can’t feed us at home. Every time I wrongly read or just even mispronounced every syllables, I got hit a diminutive stick. All I had to do back then was to cry silently in front of her. Suffice to say, she was my change agent about my fear in going to school. She allowed me no more in over spending my extra time with play. Instead, I was forced to read books and make my home works. I got irritated by her presence every day during those days. She resembled as my greatest sore eye of the panoramic view of my childhood years. Yet, not until one time left us for a living abroad. It was though we were walking towards our journey blind folded. If I was given a chance to turn back time, I would rather choose to become a child again with my caring mother that would scold me whenever I run barefooted under the scorching heat of the sun. Or perhaps, put some antiseptic solution to cleanse my wounds every stumble. I learned to perceive also that those children who have been spank or scolded by their mothers are the happiest and luckiest children in the world not because they were beaten so hard but they were treated with love and compassion by their disciplinary measures. It was really hard to be abandoned by a mother. Plus, the day to day adversity that you have to face added up to hard to your life. So, I learned to dance whatever music had been presented to me until now. I had chosen to be strong and firm. “NALAMAN KONG HABANG LUMALAKI KA, MARAMING BESES KANG NADADAPA.BUMANGON KA MAN O HINDI, MAGPAPTULOY ANG BUHAY, IIKOT ANG MUNDO, AT MAUUBOS ANG ORAS.” I studied hard! I engaged so many activities in school to fill in the hole in my heart and the reality that we are considered to be a dysfunctional family in our modern time because we are not completely together. I chose to take up nursing and the follow the advocacy of Florence Nightingale “LADY WITH A LAMP” as the mother of the caring and nursing behavior. LISOD! Mao na ang exact word na akoa masulti to summarize my life in college. FOR SURE KAILA KA NI NURSE JANE? Ana kalisod mabutang sa field sa heath care. We are not allowed to make mistakes because we can kill life if magpatanga-tanga me. It was even harder to experience our patients died in our hands while trying our best to revive them. Or after the duty I don’t have some to open my the feeling of exhaustion out of emotional fatigue and physical tiredness because my mother was away from me and just simply say: A CARER ALSO NEEDS A CARE! Besides sa gasto kayo mapressure me sa mga tawo kadto estudyante pami ka yang tan aw nila s amoa mga nursing students dato which is the exact ooposite of our true status qou. IPAMALIGYA NG MGA BABOY, BAKA, CARABAO PATI KATUNGA SA BALAY PARA MAKABAYAD UG TUITION NI ONDO UG INDAY. “ MANGARAP KA AT ABUTIN MO.WAG MONG SISIHIN ANG SIRA MONG PAMILYA, PALPAK MONG SYOTA, PILAY MONG TUTA, O MGA LUMILIPAD NA IPIS.KUNG MAY PAGKUKULANG MAN SAYO MGA MAGULANG MO, PWEDE KANG MANISI AT MAGING REBELDE…TUMIGIL KA SA PAG- AARAL, MA-ASAWA KA, MAG-DRUGS KA, MAGPAKULAY NG BUHOK SA KILIKILI. SA BANDANG HULI, IKAW DIN ANG BIKTIMA. REBELDENG WALANG NAPATUNAYAN AT BAIT SA SARILI.” Isang katagang kinopya ko kay BOB ONG na sumasalamin sa aking pagsusumikap. First time pa lang naku ug panimpalad sa Davao sa kagustuhan naku nga makaeskwela ug maayong skwelahan Mao kini ang nahitabo…”AKO ANG UNANG NISAKAY SA JEEP, UG AKO PUD ASNG PINAKAULAHING NINAOG NGA PASAHERO KAY NAWALA KO”.”GANAHAN KA KULANG NA LANG MUINGON ANG DRIVER NGA: DONG UNSAY PAGTOO NIMU FIELDTRIP NI KAY ITOUR TAKAG DAVAO? GANAHAN KA!!!If I learned to eat “BULAD” KAY AKOANG PAPA NAGABALIGYA RA UG TANGKONG SA UNA UG AKO MAMA KAY PLAIN HOUSEWIFE LANG. If I learned to love that food as my routine “SUD AN”, during my college days in Davao I had loved to feed myself with “NILAGANG ITLOG OR TOYO”! UYAB-UYAB!!!Maybe this would be the best part of the story for me. Here is the part that we can hear lines like these: the echo of his pain twisted inside, his pain my pain. Or perhaps, I lay quiet in his arms, re-memorizing his face, pretending he would lean down suddenly and kiss me-his glass- smooth lips brushing against mu hair, my forehead, the tip of my nose, each time it was like an electric shock to my long dormant beating. From the novel TWILIGHT: NEW MOON…To make the story short, My recent girlfriend was the best friend of my ex girlfriend and my recent girlfriend was the girlfriend of my best friend. Suffice to say, I fell in love with the wrong girl at a wrong time. Moral lessons of the story: 1.STUDY IS YOUR FIRST DUTY, MAKE THE MOST OF IT FOR OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS YOUR DOOR ONCE. 2. DON’T FALL INLOVE WITH THE WRONG GIRL. Fall in love 3 times or more to your reliable and right girlfriend/boyfriend that would be your father and mother. They are the most dependable and worth waiting for your love because their love are unconditional. If you will love them more, there are no lines like these. Break nata! Cool off sata!If they will break your heart, it’s for good. And significantly, they are not only in your side during happy moments to say sweet nothings but they will be staying at you depressing chapter of your life.3. UG ANG PINAKA LAST NA MORAL LESSON, DILI TALUHUN ANG BARKADA! KAY GABAAN KA!!! HEHEHE…I had her for more than two years not that long with her best friend for more than 5 years then. I cried ocean of tears because she left me wounded and empty. But I know there is more to life than being miserable because of a girl. I learn accept the final curtain call: the closing of our chapters with my girlfriend so I stand here in front of you that I chose to be strong and education with my wide inferences in weighing the situation. So I am here standing so tall yet the spirit of humility still fires inside. And thanking my mentors in this institution that shape me who I am right this juncture. Neophyte but willing to have a good fight! To ma’am LILIA AND MAM LUZ, THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THE BAH…BAH...BLACK SHEEP! AND THE DANCESTEPS TAUGHT TO ME. I can consider myself as good sheep because you are good shepherds to me. To MAM TERIA, A MILLION THANKS FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO READ AND WRITE WELL…Now, I learned how to speak up when I have to defend myself from others castigation and one-sided opinions. To MAM DAILITA EVEN IF SHE’S NOT HEARING IT, THANKS FOR THE BOROL ANG KABUNDUKAN LESSON IN HISTORY, NOW I KNOW HOW TO CLIMB HILLS AND HIGH MOUNTAINS WITH ZEST AND ALTRUISM…TO MAM DUYAG…Thanks for introducing the MATH LESSONS AND ALLOWING ME PARTICIPATED A MATH CONTEST DURING MY GRADE FOUR WHERE I BAGGED THE 2ND PLACE FOR YOUR THOUROUGH REVIEW EVEN I HATE NUMBERS SO MUCH. You opened me to the idea that in life sometimes you have to solve your worst mathematical problems and face your greatest nightmare by your own to be a victor. TO MAM AUNTIE WELGIE thanks for teaching me how to pronounce the lasagna not as lasagna and letting spelled out very hard words during your English class before. Now, I know that you made so good not only correcting my weakness and challenging me exert more than what I have but you also taught me to soar high. TO MAM PARBA THANKS FOR LETTING ME FEEL THAT I AM THE BEST BY YOUR HEKASI CLASS NOT AS SECOND BEST AND MY OUTLET OF DEPRESSIONS AND BEING AN ADVISER. You thought me how to feel that I have worth and I can be somebody important someday. To all new mentors in this institution, I knew you got all what a teacher should have to continue in your pursuit towards educating young minds. To my aforementioned mentors, I am sincere saying thank you very much for I can’t possibly attach the initials RN, REGISTERED NURSE WITHOUT YOU ALL.
This speech of mine took me so long to make because the topic is a broad concept to discuss yet in my own experienced because of my will to be who I am now maybe would suffice that if you are willing to risk everything for your dreams you can have it all…Two thirds of Jesus life was spent because of education because of his advocacy to “TEACH” and “PREACH”. Teaching is educating the minds and preaching is educating the heart. So he did it all to educate us. So someday, if you will be professionals you should also remember the value of preaching which is educating the heart. “And good education shape people’s mind. A good education makes a good mind, but not necessarily a good person. So, we will never be prone to gossip, engaging unproductive pursuit, spreading unverified rumors, finding others misery as an equalizer to us.” As I quote from a write up of a friend.Eduaction would not only make you FAMOUS…REPUTABLE…DECENT…HIGHLY REGARDED…AND RICH…BUT IT WOULD DEFINITELY MOLD YOU US A BETTER PERSON DEPENDING ON HOW YOU WOULD RESPOND AND CARRY YOUR VICTORY…Before at the same event, same seat that you are supposed seated right this juncture, I was dreaming when our speaker broadcasted her victory in life because of education. And now the naïve me before, now speak like a victorious king from fight for sure you will do it the same way. Just study, believe ,and PRAY/FAITH TO HIM!!!
Before I signed off, let me leave a quote from my favorite fiction author; SYDNEY SHELDON,” IN LIFE THERE ARE ONLY TWO CHOICES EITHER TO KEEP ON HIDING, RUNNING, AND BLAMING THE WORLD FOR YOUR PROBLEM OR TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND BE SOMEBODY IMPORTANT!!!Maayong hapon…

Sorry...

I felt so small when I realized that my girlfriend gave her fidelity to a fake Romeo over me. Yet I even became microscopic when I contemplated that my life was closely wrecked by her manipulative behavior for over two years, then.
Time itself has never been good to me from the start. I was deprived by the important component of my existence which was to own a family and be part of it. I was taken by a mother whom I wanted the most. My father chose to depart us even if he is physically present yet he's partially irresponsible for not demonstrating his acts of being the firm stand post of our family. I hated to exist and be one of the many unnoticed part of the society. Not until one time she had her flamboyant entrance of my life. She was the greatest knight and shining armor. And me?The damsel in distress floating in the suffocating chocolate-colored-mud and water mixture. Labored breathing as if it was the minutes of my beautiful life.
She saved me a lot...She risked every seconds just to live with my unimaginable catastrophic life I have. I loved the feeling of stressful days while somebody decided to put an exclamation point to end up my sufferings! She was a great relief. We had been so many impossible to handle circumstances with our lives and our chosen relationship. We did a very stunning acts of our journey. Hurry!We did it great and amazing. As they say, not all stories have a happy ending. I hated to be not part of the so called fairytale-like-love story, ending up so tragic.
The relationship turned on the rocks. As if the script writer violated the value of respect and love of his characters. Imposing a lot of devastating twist and turns. There were introduction of new characters as the antagonists. Then, boiled down into a conclusion that not all main characters remained the victorious in the final scenes. Because I was a failure to save our relationship and turned out so cold and empty. I begged over and .over again to let her stay. I knelt down in her, crying. But she just left me wounded. I contemplated a lot that why did she left me empty? Why did she deserted me and cheated my faithfulness?And more hundreds of questions left unanswered. Yet after a long wait and seasons of bouts with each other, I was so unfair to put all the blame to her. For I was one also of the reason why she cheated me. She maybe so unjust to hide their affair with her new found friend. But I was the one also of the initiator of her flight away from me. So I decided to went out with her for a movie escapade to just bid goodbye with her. All I did was to sit beside her hugging her so tight and putting my head leaning in her shoulders. Then, a long moment of silence experienced while plenty of warm water managed to escape the ambivalence in my eyes to hide the pain. The running water were real and composed. I noticed that my hanker chief was partially soaked with the real pain and incomparable weakness I had deny. I hugged her a lot. I managed to rub her shoulder so gentle and find her much elevated mole situated in that spot same as the mole I had in my right shoulder. I embraced her for so long and made some of my sighs. She tried to be so pathetic and stone for a long cold moments in the cinema. But as I continue to bleed in pain right beside her I noticed that her eyes were wet too. I had seen her pain in her eyes that time confirmed by the tears in her eyes. She poured out emotion at the last part of the melodramatic scene I made by shedding some of the very real tears she had. She aired out her heart with pain that I felt that was for real. I even cried more ocean of tears after her.
I hugged her for the last time... Gave her a kiss on her supple cheek... Then I leaved her...